Unveiling the Truth: Four Reasons You’re Hiding from Your Team
If you have spent more than one day in any leadership role you have learned to protect, guard, and armor up against perceived attacks. In fact, this does not apply to leadership roles it is a survival mechanism we all have learned from our formative years as children.
All leadership pain comes from relational hurt, mistrust, and fear. Leadership pain not only happens from external relationships, but often the internal pain of our relationship with ourselves can be a far greater threat than the external reality. I was in a coaching conversation with a business owner and the burden he is carrying he expressed how difficult it was to even show up for the team.
Two primary reasons it can be difficult to lead with your whole heart when all you want to do is hide from your team. The various roles a business owner, senior leader, and or pastors carries require them to perform and protect.
There is a great danger in referring to high-performing leadership. A performance implies an act or show. When a person has to perform there will always be a degree of authenticity missing. This leads to protecting oneself from fully being known. Ultimately the core issue is a heart issue of pride and is a poison that can destroy teams, marriages, and organizations. Long before pride destroys a team it will rot a person from the inside out. In a recent live coaching conversation on the podcast, a pastor expressed how his confidence has eroded after four decades of having to perform and not being known because under the hood of performance is a silent killer called perfectionism, which leads to sefl-protection.
“When relieving pain (and/or avoiding it) becomes our priority, we have left the path of pursuing God. The experience of pain has the power to either harden us in our self-protective style or drive us to a deeper trust in God. It can enable us to clearly see how are relational style accommodates our commitment to stay safe rather than freely love others. Self-Protection and love are opposites. Because love is the ultimate virtue, self-protection is the ultimate problem.” Inside Out – Larry Crabb
Are you finding yourself retreating into the shadows regarding your team? Here are four key reasons why you might be hiding, and why it’s crucial to step into the light:
- Anger: Unresolved anger can create barriers, making it challenging to engage openly with your team. When you address this emotion, you pave the way for healthier interactions and stronger connections.
- Shame: Feeling ashamed of certain aspects of yourself or your actions can lead to a tendency to hide. Remember, vulnerability is not weakness; it’s the cornerstone of genuine connection. Embrace your imperfections, and watch how they transform your team dynamics.
- Control: The desire to maintain control over situations or outcomes can inadvertently lead to isolation from your team. Trust in your team’s abilities and cultivate an environment of collaboration rather than control. It’s through shared ownership that greatness is achieved.
- Avoidance: Whether it’s fear of conflict or a reluctance to confront difficult conversations, avoidance can hinder team progress. Lean into the discomfort and embrace courageous conversations. It’s through facing challenges head-on that growth and breakthroughs occur.
Your team relies on your presence, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. When you show up wholeheartedly, you set the tone for transparency, trust, and collaboration.
According to a study published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, employees who receive coaching experience significant improvements in mental and emotional well-being, with a 48% decrease in symptoms of anxiety and a 50% decrease in symptoms of depression.
Are you tired of hiding and want to help your team flourish? Invest in a Wholehearted Leadership Workshop that combines emotional intelligence training, leadership coaching, and the iEQ9 Integrative Enneagram assessment for your team. This workshop will help your team step out of the shadows and into the light with renewed clarity and confidence in their potential.
