How to Stay Connected After Difficult Conversation
| How To Stay Connected After Difficult Conversations Your spouse and team can see right through the posing and leadership veneer. Are you willing to do the interior work to go to the next level? In the upcoming video course that you will see below, the foundation of a healthy leader is the calmest person in the room, being confident in what you believe/want, and staying connected in relationships. This is adaptive leadership at the deepest level. This is not for the technical faint of heart leaders who seek quick fixes. Remember, all leadership is an emotional process. This week has been a difficult week for several clients; on the edge of terminating a leader, realizing that you did not empower your team as desired, marriage tension, and simply being exhausted from life. Even for myself, I realized last week I was not in a healthy place and was being defensive in my emotional posture toward my family. Take any complicated conversation that you have had recently or realize you simply did not meet your desired leadership standard. Typical Response to Difficult Conversations: What often happens after a difficult conversation is that you will either withdraw, defend, blame, or enmesh in a relationship, both at work and at home. For myself, my default is to withdraw or defend. This posture is simply not helpful to me or those that I desire to lead. This leads to emotional posing and putting on a leadership veneer and your spouse or team can see right through what is happening. Here is what you can do instead. Ask: “What are you feeling after our conversation yesterday?” And share: “After our conversation, yesterday here is what I feel and what I am learning about myself.”This shows your emotional availability and your desire to stay connected. You cannot lead your team or spouse if you are not willing to stay emotionally connected to yourself and those closest to you. Coaching Questions: What is your emotional reaction after a difficult conversation? How could the one simple question above help you stay connected in a meaningful relationship with those you lead? |
