How to Close the Integrity Gap When Life is Fragmented

During a coaching call this week with a potential new client, he arrived a few minutes late. He apologized, and we quickly got started. I asked a straightforward question to begin, aiming to cut right to the chase: “Where else are you showing up a few minutes late?”

His response was direct: “Everywhere, and it’s not good.”

I often refer to this principle as closing the integrity gap, or what I call the alarm clock principle.

Consider this: Do you set your alarm clock for the time you truly intend to wake up, or do you erode trust in yourself by setting it 20 or 30 minutes earlier than necessary?

How frequently do you catch yourself justifying your intentions, all the while judging others solely by their actions?

A fundamental aspect of wholehearted leadership is honoring your word. It’s essential to be clear with yourself, offering a sincere ‘yes’ or ‘no.’

For instance, I set an internal goal that once I reached 5,000 followers on LinkedIn, I would start writing a newsletter article. Unlike my daily posts, a newsletter article feels more permanent. However, I noticed internal doubts creeping in, finding myself justifying my intentions and seeking possible detours on this entrepreneurial journey. (Thank you for joining me in my first LinkedIn newsletter.)

Yet, I have a choice. I can evaluate and adjust the course, or I can confront myself with radical honesty about why I am seeking to deviate from my plan. I send an email to my subscribers—why does a newsletter feel more permanent? As the internal noise grows, I recognize that resistance often signals the path to growth.

If you find yourself habitually running a few minutes behind or constantly justifying your intentions in pursuit of your goals, I encourage you to ask yourself: “When will I be true to myself?”

Should you aspire to elevate your life, relationships, or business to the next level, it necessitates an ongoing examination of what you believe about yourself. It involves comparing your current identity with the identity you aspire to embody.

Closing the integrity gap within yourself is the route to leading a more cohesive life, one marked by wholeheartedness. Strive for a resolute ‘yes’ or a definite ‘no’ in your internal dialogue.

Where in the upcoming days do you need to find clarity in your affirmations (yes) and refusals (no)?